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  • Writer's pictureMessages from the BearDen

Renewing our Boundaries

Welcome to 2020. A new year and a new decade is a great time to take a deep look at our lives and see what is helping us move forward on our journey and what no longer serves us. Many people make New Year's resolutions or goals for the year to be healthier, start a new business, travel more, study a subject that intrigues them, or be more spiritual. One aspect of our lives that may be overlooked is our boundaries and how we uphold them. Now would be a good time to contemplate what your boundaries are and if they are working for you or if they could use an adjustment.

There are many places in our lives where we have boundaries or don't. A boundary is a line that marks the limits of an area. We can have boundaries with relationships, at work, with our finances, and even with ourselves. Often we let other people push past our boundaries because we want to be nice or accommodating or want to avoid conflict. We may agree to do something that we would prefer not to or allow someone to take advantage of us or even to abuse us. It can be difficult to express our boundaries or to stand up for ourselves, but we are the only ones who can.

Having been a business owner for almost two decades I have had to learn to make boundaries with clients - a lesson I am still learning to this day. I have even experienced negative backlash for standing up for my boundaries, but have learned that you cannot please everyone, and not to take things personally. Some people, given an inch, will take a mile. By standing up for what you will and will not take from others, you are not only empowering yourself, you are doing a service to the other person by establishing clear limits or guidelines. It is ok to say no. You don't have to have a reason or an excuse. It is okay to say that doesn't work for me or not now. No one else is going to create boundaries for you so you must create your own. Spend some time thinking about how and where in your life that your boundaries could use an upgrade or an overhaul and don't be afraid to uphold those boundaries.

Having boundaries with others does not mean that you don't love them, only that you love and respect yourself.

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