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Writer's pictureMessages from the BearDen

Ghosted




Although you might think that an article from a psychic medium entitled "Ghosted" would be about the spirit world, I wanted instead to talk about the other kind of ghosting. From the Urban Dictionary: "Ghosting is when a person cuts off all communication with their friends or the person they're dating, with zero warning or notice before hand. You'll mostly see them avoiding friend's phone calls, social media, and avoiding them in public." Anyone who has ever been ghosted by someone they care about knows how absolutely painful this can be.


I recently read a novel about three different women who had been ghosted by someone they had cared deeply about and how it had brought them together in the end. It got me thinking about the times I had a friend walk out of my life and about the times I may have done so to others.


The initial feelings of rejection and misunderstanding can be overwhelming. I have had two friends at different times in my life disappear without contact and it took months, if not years for the pain to fade away. However, with time and distance, those failed relationships are put in perspective and I see why they needed to end for my (and most likely the other person's) highest good. There is a saying that people come into our lives for a reason or a season and I believe wholeheartedly that is true. Throughout life we grow and change and people that we once resonated with or shared commonalities with can drift in and out. This is part of evolving as a soul. Some people may hold us back with limited beliefs, they may not have our best interests at heart or are just dealing with life in their own way. I think the biggest take away from the dissolution of relationships is that we grow and change and that not everyone is meant to accompany us on our journey until the end. If you are faced now with being ghosted by someone you care about, try looking beyond the hurt to the deeper meaning of the bond you shared and the path moving forward. How would that person have helped you or hindered you? Did they support you or hold you back? It helps to remember that not everyone is considerate or empathetic. They may be too ashamed to reach out to end the relationship. It is up to us to nurture ourselves and to not ghost our self in the process.


If you have ghosted others in your past, it is never too late to ask for forgiveness even if only energetically, and to understand the pain you may have caused someone. Try to avoid doing so again in the future. In all reality, the cure for ghosting is communication. It would be far better to communicate that you no longer want to be involved with someone than to leave them hanging on always wondering if they did something wrong. So, let's communicate our feelings and if necessary say goodbye. If the other person is not responsive to letting the relationship go, you can walk away knowing that you were heard, that you heard the other person and can therefore make a clean break.


Now if you are dealing with actual ghosts, let me know about it. I would love to hear about your experiences and share some of my own!

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